#wakeupdeadspin

Another Strongman Named Tito Emerges, This One Half-Naked

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day. More »
Yesterday - September 1, 2010

Finally, A Baseball Fight That Doesn't Disappoint

A night after bowling over the catcher, Nyjer Morgan gets a pitch behind him. Morgan goes after the pitcher, when — BAM! — Gaby Sanchez out of nowhere. This was a good one, folks. [MLB.com]

Now Iran Wants To Wipe Cheerleaders Off The Face Of The Planet

International competitions teach us a lot about cultural sensitivity. But sometimes the kumbaya stuff goes too far. Like when cheerleaders have to cover up during one of our basketball games, lest an Iranian player pop an infidel boner or something. More »

Rob Dibble Given The Heave-Ho By MASN

MASN has had it up to here with the misogyny and the foot-in-mouthery from Rob Dibble, firing the analyst today after his super-secret suspension didn't knock the appropriate amount of sense into him. Suck it up, Dibble.

The Winner (Loser?) Of The Absolute Worst Masturbation Story

The votes are in! And the runaway "winner" will surprise none of you... [Jezebel]
#jenesaisquoi

Joakim Noah Plays Golf With Pizzazz

Oh, Joakim Noah. Whether you're buying a pipe to smoke tobacco or hanging at Lollapalooza, your off-the-court activities are wonderful. Let's hear some good captions, people. Photo via Sportress of Blogitude

"Bubbling" Tricks Your Mind To See Anyone Naked

A legend born: A young Mormon, forbidden from looking at porn, discovers a way to Photoshop safe-for-work bikini shots in such a way to let his mind fill in the blanks. It's not porn if it's in your brain. Another! [Gizmodo]

Headline of the young month: "Butts Arrested In Boob Murder Case."

The Return Of The US Women’s College Football Fight

Remember the spate (well, two or three) of women's college football brawls that broke out in the US towards the end of last year? Those were good times, no? More »

Newly-independent BYU signed a 6-game deal to play Notre Dame in the "Protestants Don't Consider Either One Christians" Bowl Series.

Big Ten Divisions To Split Up Michigan And Ohio State; 7th Seal Opened

AIR RAID SIRENS! STORIED BUT INSUFFERABLE PROGRAM NOT GUARANTEED TO FACE EQUALLY STORIED, EQUALLY INSUFFERABLE RIVAL EVERY YEAR! [Washington Post]

Summermodo: A Whole New Way To Grill

The Automatic Chef motorized grill is where space-age and stone-age grilling techniques meet. An adjustable battery-powered arm slowly rotates a 22" grate over your roaring open flame, cooking everything to perfection. Check out Summermodo for more awesome high-temp gear. More »

Ricky Rubio Gets Embarrassed By Off-The-Back Inbounds Pass

That's Mantas Kalnietis with the schoolyard move in Lithuania's big upset of Spain at the basketball world championships yesterday. That's okay. If he ever signs with the T-Wolves, they have three other PGs they can use to defend on these plays.

NASCAR: Born From Cheaters

Oh my goodness, the National Association Of Stock Car Auto Racing (as opposed to the national association of stock car boat racing) is full of cheaters! Stone-cold cheatin' to victory in every race, ever. America expects better from former moonshiners. [Jalopnik]

Heat Claims First U.S. Open Participant

Victoria Azarenka was eliminated from the U.S. Open today, forfeiting her match when she collapsed in the oppressive Flushing Meadows heat. That sucks. However, the international tennis cognoscenti never miss a chance to be sorta bitchy. More »

Last Night's Winner: Manny Ramirez And His Unnecessary Translator

In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Manny Ramirez, who in his first presser with the White Sox pretended not to speak English and required the translation services of third base coach Joey Cora. More »

Lineman On Moped Meets Pickup Truck, Truck Wins

Iowa center Josh Koeppel was tooling around campus Monday morning, when he had a little run-in with a Ford F-150. Now there's video, and it's clear Koeppel forgot to flick his truck stick. More »

Dolphins Scour Field For $50,000 Earring

Ten players were on their hands and knees, poring through the grass for a 2.5 carat diamond earring that belongs to DE Kendall Langford. That'll lower his bling rating in the next Madden update. [AP] [UPDATE: Ochocinco weighs in]
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